thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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