Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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