I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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