just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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