Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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