I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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