i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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