Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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