It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I want a musical about memes.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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