we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
