Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
