just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
smell my finger.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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