You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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