it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
