I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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