how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do vagina's smell?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
