so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
