I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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