I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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