WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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