ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
