Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
