I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
