Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
