We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
