Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
