Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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