I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
