She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
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