I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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