AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
