Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
