He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
