idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
