So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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