every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
