Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
