so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize