I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just sent this text using only my big toe
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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