home. puking in laundry basket.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
