We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
