Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
