You really coming over, don't trick.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
