I looked at my own cervix.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I am naked and annoyed.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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