i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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