I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
