Got a toothbrush?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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