Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
