so that wasnt chicken after all
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
