Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
